Thank Goodness it's February

Hello February!


I can't tell you how glad I am that you've finally come. It seemed that the travesty that was January would never end. I've been waiting for you, looking for you.


I have to admit that January was a big growing month for me. I faced some of my inner demons and survived. I faced my fear of failure. My fear of not-being-good-enough. I've had this fear my entire life. I've been running from it for over 30 years. It finally caught up to me and knocked me down. And yet, I found that I'm kind-of like those toys called Weebles, I wobbled, I smacked my face on the ground, but I popped right back up. I didn't think that I would, or that I could, and yet, I did. And you know what? Somehow on the way up, my perspective changed. I see that before my path was a little off-target and now I'm back where I want to be. Wiser. I'm glad for that.

I also faced my fear of being-a-burden when I seriously hurt my knee. (It turns out after an MRI that I have a contusion (aka big bone bruise) and won't need surgery, thank goodness!) It hasn't been easy for the family having me out-of-commission, but we've survived. One night, after a particularly useless day, I apologized to Todd for being so well, useless. And I thanked him for taking care of everything. I told him that I felt awful that I couldn't help out with dinner and the kids and the housework. But, he didn't feel put-out in any way. He told me that he had a great day. He was glad that I was laid-up for a bit because it gave him an opportunity to serve me. (Wow, I married a great man.) I realized that sometimes you are the one doing the lifting and sometimes, you are the one being lifted. And that's okay.

I'm glad that I've grown so much this last month, but I'm also very very glad that January is over.

Now, I can finally start 2009 with renewed determination.


Yeah, it's going to be a great year.

Welcome February. Welcome.