Busy With Life

These last few days have been a blur as I've been completely occupied with life.

I went back to the knee doctor on Tuesday and asked him to re-review my MRI results. I just felt that something was slightly off with my lack-of-healing. At first he was a bit put-out that I would question the initial diagnosis, but after viewing my inability to bend my knee and taking into account the length of time since my injury, he agreed to get a second opinion.

Sure enough, on Wednesday afternoon, I got a call from Knee Man telling me that he needed to see me on Thursday. It turns out that I damaged my ACL and will need surgery after all. So I'm scheduled for Tuesday morning. Yes, this Tuesday. I'm not getting the full ACL repaired because the recovery for that is too extensive for my busy lifestyle. Instead, he'll be "cleaning up my knee" (doesn't that sound so benign? Almost like he's tidying up my family room?) so that I don't have horrendous pain whenever I move. The recovery is 2 weeks on crutches (oh, my poor arms!) and physical therapy 3 times a week for 3 weeks. My mom is flying in to take care of...let's see...everything...while I sit around and stitch and scrap and heal. I don't know what I'd do without my momma. Once again, she swoops in to save the day. I only hope that I can be the mother to my sweeties that she has been for me.

Again, I am facing one of my deepest fears: medical procedures. It seems that I've been facing a lot of my deepest fears lately. Emotional and personal growth is usually painful, I've found. And yet, it is necessary to help us to rise to new heights. Later in life, I'll look back and... (no, not laugh) say to myself: "I made it through that, so I can make it through (fill in the blank)" I will be that much stronger for looking fear in the face and running toward it (or in my case limping toward it). When I reach that fear that seems so big and so awful, I will realize that it is only a cloud of smoke. It has no substance. It was something that I placed in my path unnecessarily. As I blow that smoke away, I'll see the path beyond it. More beautiful and more exciting than I could have possibly imagined. I'll wonder why it took me so long to get there...

I believe that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason that I hurt my knee so badly. I've been pondering what lessons I've learned (and need to learn) from this experience. One of these lessons is that I can stand up for myself. My natural inclination is to cower when someone disagrees with me (as the Knee Man did). I usually just give in. But, I didn't this time. I defended myself and I was right. Good for me. I've also learned that I need to take better care of myself. I need to take the time to eat properly and exercise. I need to slow down and truly listen to what my body is telling me. It is important.

I may be a spotty blogger these next few weeks as I will be extremely busy with PT and such. Please bear with me! I hope that you have a wonderful weekend!